Don’t Make Me Say It

My new and long awaited grandson and me. I had to share even though it has nothing to do with this week's blog.

Last week one of my readers named Emily mentioned that she was checking my blog to see how I was doing and I was reminded that I have been laying very low on that particular subject. It isn’t that I don’t want to share what I have learned recently I have just learned a healthy regard for saying too much.

I try not to be superstitious but it has never failed, if I say something positive I get knocked down a peg (or two or three) within days of the mere mention that things might be improving. This has a similar effect to someone putting a very large, beefy hand over my mouth. I just clam up.

It had gotten so bad that one “thyroid friend” and I started to speak some kind of nonsense language that goes like this “I’m not saying my temperatures are normal or anything” or “I’m not saying my sleep has improved”. We tried that for awhile but eventually we abandoned it.

I actually like my new approach which sounds slightly positive without incriminating myself “Things are better, not perfect, but better.” That covers the bases without actually going so far or being so confident as to say “I’m doing well”.

I don’t know if other people with an autoimmune disease speak this odd cryptic language but I find it suits me and most of my friends very well. For instance another friend and I when we get together often ask, out of politeness, “How are you?” The answer invariably being “Oh I’m okay”. The truth might be something else it might even be that we are feeling the best we have felt in years but I am telling you that those words never escape our lips.We both say those non-committal words and look at each other with a knowing glance and then change the subject.

At first this felt wrong to me, why should I always be so pessimistic? I am a positive person for the most part. I don’t know if I see the glass as half full when, in fact, it is half empty but I appreciate every day I get up. I smile a lot, I even laugh. I love my new grandson (By the way that was a truly grand day), my family and my dogs. I have a good job, we are not unemployed or disabled, so why do I feel this sense of pessimism when it comes to my health?

To be perfectly honest, I don’t know. Maybe tomorrow I will turn over a new leaf and just tell it like it is. If things are great, I will say “I’m fabulous”. If the day is dismal and I feel poorly, maybe I will just admit “this day sucks”. However, I say it, however I feel, as in anyone’s life there will be good days and bad days and maybe the secret to good health is to accept the bad with the good and just get on with your life.

I hope you have a wonderful week,



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